There was a time when I witnessed
an adult reprimand a child after he pointed out someone they saw as
different. I was standing in a check-out
line at a grocery store behind a lady who had her little boy sitting in her
shopping cart. The little boy, who
appeared to be three or four years old,pointed at the young man bagging the
customers’ groceries and said out loud “Ugh! Nasty! Look at that stuff on the back of his
neck!” The little boy’s mother responded
by spanking his hand until he cried. She
angrily said to him “Don’t do that.
That’s rude!” She seemed to be
more embarrassed than the young man. In
fact, the young man seemed to be annoyed at the lady for spanking the little
boy. He looked at the little boy and
smiled saying “It’s Okay.”
The young man had a keloid scar
formation on the back of his neck just below his hair line. It was a huge growth
and anyone would have noticed it. The
message that might have been communicated to this child by the adult’s response
was that this was a shameful thing that the young man had and it was bad to
notice it or say anything about it.
An example of how an anti-bias
educator might have responded to support the child’s or classroom’s
understanding would be to explain, “The young man has a skin condition called
keloid. It is not nasty and it is not
contagious. Some people may not know
that they have this condition until their skin is cut, burned or pierced. Sometimes, there is a family history of
developing keloid scars. Keloids are not
harmful to your health and can be treated or surgically removed.” Afterwards, the teacher could ask if there
are any questions or if they have seen anyone else with a growth on them that
was similar to the young man’s.
Hi Martha,
ReplyDeleteI agree that the woman probably responded from embarrassment, even though I do not agree with the way she responded. Spanking the child's hand seemed a bit extreme and may have confused him making him feel that he was wrong for noticing the scar. A better response, if she did not know it was a keloid, would have been to tell the child that things happen that cause people to scar, but that does not make them nasty. She could have even whispered the response to the child if she did not feel comfortable saying it aloud. I do think that the child's response should have been addressed, just not the way she did it. I also agree with your examples of how an anti-bias educator could have handled this situation in the classroom. Thanks for sharing!
Martha,
ReplyDeleteI can recall situations where I have definitely witnessed and overheard a child making similar remarks in similar situations. I really like the perspective you shared with regards to the message being communicated. You noted that the response may have communicated a message of shamefulness with respect to the man who had the scars. I never really thought about it that way. In these situations, there are levels of unacceptance being displayed and communicated, which contributes to developed biases in a child's early years. Thanks for noting this and sharing your experience.
Shawna
Great example, I also wrote about a situation which occurred in the grocery store. I definitely agree with you that many of the initial responses of parents are a result of embarrassment. They are trying to avoid the other person from feeling bad, yet they are sending the message that their difference is bad. As a result their actions are ofter counter productive.
ReplyDeleteI have seen things like this happen as well. I think this parent tried to save face by but ended up overreacting to the situation. It was a good example that you used. I think if she has apologized to the gentlemen it would have been fine. Once they left the store she could have talked to the child about it on their way home. The other thing that people have to be careful about is silencing children. This boy may not want to openly share his opinion for fear of being beaten again.
ReplyDelete